We’ve been sold a lie. We live in a world that promotes quick fixes, from instant weight loss solutions to fast food deliveries. This mindset of “I want it and I want it now and easily” often pours into how we view relationships, especially marriage. Movies, social media, and even supportive friends can sell the idea that once you’ve found “the one,” everything will naturally fall into place. But the enemy loves to twist God’s truth, planting the lie that marriage should be easy. When we believe this lie, we set ourselves up for disappointment, frustration, and even resentment toward our husbands for not living up to the standards of this false idea.
But here’s the truth: marriage is not easy—and it’s not meant to be. It’s designed to sanctify us, to challenge us, and to grow us in ways we never imagined. When we face hardships in marriage, it’s not a sign that something is wrong; it’s an invitation to rely on God and strengthen our relationship with Him and with each other.
In this post, we will expose the enemy’s lie and dive into how we can stand firm in God’s truth when it comes to having a strong marriage.
The Enemy’s Lies: Marriage Should Be Easy
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)
Marriage is the enemy’s battleground. He tries hard to get us into bed before marriage, only to try to keep us from enjoying our husbands after marriage. The enemy is constantly seeking to deceive us. And one of the most dangerous lies he plants is the idea that marriage, when done right, should be effortless.
Why This Lie Is So Dangerous
When we believe marriage should be easy, we start to believe something is wrong when it’s not. Disagreements with our spouse feel like failures. We start to compare our relationship to others, making the assumption that they have it all together while we struggle and make things worse. Worst of all, we stop relying on God because we become disillusioned.
Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against… the spiritual forces of evil.” The struggles we face in marriage aren’t just physical or emotional—they are spiritual. When we realize this, we can understand that the enemy’s tactics are meant to create division and weaken our bond, making us believe that we married the wrong person or that you are the problem.
How to Recognize the Lie in Your Marriage
The enemy is sneaky, and his lies often seem subtle at first. You might catch yourself thinking, “It shouldn’t be this hard,” or “Maybe I married the wrong person.” When you begin to hear these thoughts, stop and ask yourself: Who benefits from these thoughts? Are they leading me closer to God and my spouse or further away?
When you recognize that these thoughts are not from God, you can counter them with His truth.
God’s Truth: Marriage Is a Reflection of Christ and the Church
Contrary to what the world says, marriage is not primarily about your happiness, it’s about holiness. Ephesians 5:25-27 shows us that marriage is designed to reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy.” This love is sacrificial and can often feel difficult. That’s because the love God calls us to is not self-serving.
God doesn’t promise an easy journey, but He does promise to be with us through it all. Marriage is one of the greatest opportunities to reflect His love, grace, and patience.
Persevering Through Challenges
Jesus didn’t take the easy way out. He faced suffering for the sake of His bride, the Church. In the same way, our marriages will face trials and seasons. But every difficulty is an opportunity for growth and dependance on God.
James 1:2-4 encourages us to “consider it pure joy” when we face trials because they produce perseverance, which makes us mature and complete. In marriage, perseverance doesn’t mean simply putting up with each other. It means actively loving, serving, and forgiving one another, trusting that God will use these moments to draw us closer to Him and to each other. It requires full trust and faith on our part.
Relying on God’s Strength, Not Ours
It’s easy to feel like giving up when things feel hard. But God never intended for us to do this in our own strength. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, including the hard and beautiful work of marriage.
When we stop relying on our limited strength and human emotions to guide us, and instead lean into God’s power, we can overcome the hardships we face. Whether it’s through prayer, seeking godly counsel, or reading Scripture together, we can fight the good fight for our marriage. Now is the time to go deeper with the Lord, not wishfully think about the grass that appears greener on the other side.
Practical Steps to Combat the Enemy’s Lies
1. Focus on the Purpose of Marriage
When we lose sight of the true purpose of marriage, it becomes easy to focus on temporary frustrations. Remember that your marriage is a covenant designed to glorify God, refine you to be a godly woman and to help you grow in your relationship with Him. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to deepen your love for each other and for the Lord.
2. Pray Together Regularly
Prayer is one of the most powerful tools we have in the spiritual battle against the enemy’s lies. Matthew 18:19-20 tells us that when two or three are gathered in His name, God is in the midst of them. Praying together as a couple not only invites God into your marriage but also strengthens your unity.
3. Meditate on Scripture
When the enemy whispers lies into your heart, combat them with the truth of God’s Word. Find verses that speak to the challenges you are facing in your marriage. For example, if you’re feeling discouraged, meditate on Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
You can also download our Scripture for Marriage Conflicts Chart to keep handy for those tough moments. Another useful tactic is to write down 1-2 scriptures on separate index cards and either keep them in your purse or tape them around places you frequently dwell in your home.
4. Seek Wise Counsel
God designed us to thrive in community. When your marriage feels hard, seek the counsel of wise, godly friends or mentors. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Sometimes, the perspective of someone outside of your situation can provide clarity and help you navigate difficult times. But be sure to confide in someone you genuinely trust and who is a seasoned biblical wife.
Resources to Strengthen Your Marriage
- Scripture for Marriage Conflicts Chart: A downloadable chart with specific Bible verses to meditate on during moments of conflict or frustration. [Download it here].
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Final Thoughts: Embrace the Hardship, Trust in God’s Plan
The enemy would have us believe that marriage should be easy and that conflict means failure. But God’s Word tells us otherwise. Marriage, like our walk with Christ, is full of challenges meant to sanctify us and bring us closer to Him. When we stop believing this lie and start trusting in God’s plan, we can find joy in the midst of hardship, knowing that He is using every moment for His glory.
Let go of the enemy’s lies, and embrace the beauty and growth that come from persevering through the trials of marriage. Through God’s grace, your marriage can be a reflection of Christ’s love, not because it’s easy, but because it’s rooted in His strength and purpose.
To continue your journey in strengthening your marriage, download our Scripture for Marriage Conflicts Chart. Don’t forget to share this blog post if you found it encouraging!
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